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# Twilight Journal

A journal of the natural year in the light of death

## Sitemaps

- [XML Sitemap](https://twilightjournal.com/sitemap.xml): Contains all public & indexable URLs for this website.

## Posts

- [Blog](https://twilightjournal.com/blog/) - ALS (MND) will kill you, but it can compel you to contemplate living in a way few ever know. -- These are my notes from this long twilight before dawn.
- [Benedictio Finalis:](https://twilightjournal.com/benedictio-finalis/) - Many traditional Christian masses end with a final blessing. In the original Latin, this was known as the "Benedicto Finalis". Many spoken prayers are delivered by the priest, alone. But, on occasion, the congregation recites the parts of a prayer that are traditionally written in typographically different lettering (i.e., italics). This is my final blessing to all of you.
- [Afterward : Saint Lucy's Day](https://twilightjournal.com/afterwards-saint-lucys-day/) - December 13th marked Santa Lucia Day— the quiet celebration of a child carrying light into the dark. This reflection is about waiting, tending, enduring. Not rushing to joy, but honoring the long night that makes it necessary. The small flame matters most before it becomes a fire. This season, don’t skip to the ending. Carry the candle. Sit with the dark.
- [Morning: an American Jisei](https://twilightjournal.com/sunrise/) - A jisei, or jisei no ku, is a beautiful Japanese tradition: a poem composed near the end of life, a quiet reflection from the threshold. I, too, must seem to step away for a moment now. But we will soon recognize each other again, laughing and running like children through the tall, bright grass. -Bill
- [Introduction: Announcement](https://twilightjournal.com/introduction/) - An announcement.
- [Interview With Bill](https://twilightjournal.com/interview-with-bill/) - I was asked six questions about living with ALS. What came out wasn’t answers—it was something closer to a way of seeing. This reflection is about loving what is, even when it breaks you. About changing the channel from fear to something wider. About realizing that nothing is separate—and that how we act shapes everything. Not despite this life. Because of it.
- [Afterward: Farewell](https://twilightjournal.com/afterward-farewell/) - Five years ago, I was told I had two left. This morning, I sit by the fire, sunlight touching snow, whispering my goodbyes. This reflection is not about dying. It is about seeing clearly. About choosing love over fear. About discovering that what remains is radiant. If these words find you in your own hard season, know this: There is nothing to fear.
- [Afterward: Radiant Book Giving](https://twilightjournal.com/afterward-radiant-book-giving/) - Over the past five years of living with illness, I’ve developed a renewed appreciation for the value of books— audio and print—as companions, counselors, teachers, and friends. This appreciation is especially relevant for those of us living with conditions like ALS, and to individuals in hospitals, long-term care facilities, rehabilitation centers, emergency housing, correctional settings,
- [Summer  Journal: Softness](https://twilightjournal.com/summer-journal-softness/) - This morning arrived wrapped in the rare softness that only exists between seasons. Not quite spring. Not yet summer. Just this: Fox kits in the bamboo. Violets in the grass. Air like a rose petal against your cheek. This reflection is about new life, quiet light, and the gentle power of a world waking up.
- [Spring Journal: Mud](https://twilightjournal.com/spring-journal-mud/) - Spring doesn’t arrive with fanfare. It seeps in slowly—through thawing trails, frost-cracked soil, and the patient churn of mud. This reflection is about frost seeding, trail-building, and the quiet power of letting the mess make way for something new. Creation begins with dissolution. Mud first, then bloom.
- [Winter Journal: Light](https://twilightjournal.com/light/) - The valley teaches in light. Each season arrives with its own voice—spring’s honey-gold promise, summer’s restless shimmer, autumn’s amber hush, winter’s quiet charcoal. From my stillness, I see it all more clearly now. Every leaf. Every shadow. Every tender change. This reflection is about watching the year turn from a wheelchair—and realizing light is always writing love letters across the walls.
- [Autumn Journal: Kindness](https://twilightjournal.com/autumn-journal-coffee/) - Five hours of daylight have slipped away since midsummer. Deer eat bark. The sun arrives later. Steam lifts from my coffee, then disappears. This reflection is about winter’s quiet shift— how we adapt, how we endure, how everything falls and rises again. There is nothing to fear. The leaf drifts down. The breath fades. And still, the light shines through everything.
- [Winter Journal: Cold Snap](https://twilightjournal.com/preparation/) - The snow is gone. But the cold remains. This reflection is about what winter strips away— how frost cracks the seed, breaks the stem, and scatters silk on the wind. Nothing blooms without a breaking. The universe waits in the split pod, the frozen bird, the hollow stalk bending to soil.
- [Autumn Journal: What Remains is Radiant](https://twilightjournal.com/autumn-journal-release/) - One year ago today, I began this journal. Today I finish, while I have the strength to do it well. The year’s circle is complete. My final reflection is about the freedom of release. About how letting go becomes the blessing. About how, in the unclenching, we discover what remains. And what remains is radiant.
- [Autumn Journal: Yellowjacket](https://twilightjournal.com/autumn-journal-yellowjacket/) - Today felt like summer. The maple leaves burned red, and hornets circled the last tomatoes. This reflection is about the dying members of a broken home — their hunger, their panic, their separateness. And how, if we look closely, we might see something familiar in their flight. Chasing sweetness. Fearing frost.
- [Autumn Journal: Golden Hour](https://twilightjournal.com/autumn-journal-golden-hour/) - Sunrise sets the valley ablaze—trees become torches, a doe turns to gold, and birds fill the air with coins of sound. And then… rain. Silence. Letting go. This reflection is about how beauty arrives without warning, and departs without apology. And how, in its passing, it burns with the brilliance of the eternal.
- [Autumn Journal: Black Walnut](https://twilightjournal.com/autumn-journal-black-walnut/) - They fall like green cannonballs—Black Walnuts pounding the forest floor, their hard gifts wrapped in bitterness and dye. This reflection is about what grows in consequence— how every squirrel, fern, fox, and fallen nut tells a deeper story of unity, shaped by starlight, soil, and time. Wait. Let the husk rot. Crack the shell. Light waits within.
- [Autumn Journal: Fullness](https://twilightjournal.com/autumn-journal-fullness/) - The first true autumn morning arrived, carried on cool air and chickadee song. This reflection is about the season of fullness— when summer's fire fades, fruit falls, and the world prepares to empty itself. But not yet. Not yet.
- [Summer Journal: This Bright Stillness](https://twilightjournal.com/summer-journal-within-this-bright-stillness/) - The valley wakes in song. Cicadas, hummingbirds, dew-laced grass. A breath, a breeze. A moment. This reflection is about letting go of clocks and stories— and stepping into the luminous stillness beneath it all. No coming. No going. No loss. Only this sunlit sea. Only now.
- [Summer Journal: Thicket](https://twilightjournal.com/summer-journal-thicket/) - My daughter has returned home. A new husband. Two quiet cats. We find ourselves together in a season of transition— between continents, between careers, between life and death. This reflection is about catbirds, tangled margins, and the wild grace of transition. Where the stable gives way to the shifting. Where nothing endures, and everything grows. We are all dwellers of the thicket— becoming, dissolving, blooming again.
- [Summer Journal: Career](https://twilightjournal.com/summer-journal-career/) - I’ve spent my life planning. Careers. Companies. Calorie counts. Futures I may never see. This piece is about the joy of the game— and the quiet wisdom that comes when you realize the sun is setting on the field. Play hard. Play well. Then step off into starlight, laughter, and mosquitoes.
- [Spring Journal: The Joke](https://twilightjournal.com/spring-journal-the-joke/) - The groundhogs don’t know the stream floods. They just dig. Sip. Rest. Begin again. This piece is about watching them work— And realizing we do the same. We build our lives beside a stream that will rise and sweep it all away. But in that certainty, there’s freedom. In that impermanence, a strange lightness. What if falling… is just another word for flight?
- [Spring Journal: Two, yet not two](https://twilightjournal.com/two-yet-not-two/) - The valley awakens in purple fire. Snow crocuses rise from frost-heaved ground—tiny, defiant, luminous. This reflection is about early blooms, a single honeybee, and the deep magic that binds them. Two, yet not two. Flower and bee. Light and earth. You and the world. Spring begins here.
- [Spring Journal: Betrayal](https://twilightjournal.com/spring-journal-betrayal/) - We thought spring had arrived. But last night, snow returned—quietly rewriting everything in white. This piece is about late snow, broken expectations, and the sorrow of things not going to plan. But also about what happens when we release the map, and simply notice the cardinal in the laurel.
- [Winter Journal: Hunger Moon](https://twilightjournal.com/winter-journal-killing-moon/) - The deer come at dusk, ribs showing, coats dull. The hunger moon rises. The carrion birds gather. This is a meditation on the sharp edge of late winter— where bare branches, bones, and longing all speak the same truth: Don’t look away. Even now, there is beauty. Even now, everything belongs.
- [Winter Journal: Deer](https://twilightjournal.com/deer/) - Each morning, the deer return. I watch them through my window—daughters grooming mothers, fawns testing new legs. For years, I thought I knew them. I even named one. But lately, I’ve begun to see more clearly. This piece is about how nothing truly disappears. Not the deer. Not the stream. Not even us. Everything returns. Everything flows.

## Pages

- [Homepage](https://twilightjournal.com/) - ALS (MND) will kill you, but it can compel you to contemplate living in a way few ever know. -- These are my notes from this long twilight before dawn.
- [About me](https://twilightjournal.com/about-me/) - Read Bill Martiner’s inspiring reflections on life with ALS, written hands-free using eye-gaze technology.
- [Virtual Valley](https://twilightjournal.com/virtual-valley/) - “Although its light is wide and great, the moon is reflected even in a puddle an inch wide. The whole moon and the entire sky are reflected in dewdrops on the grass, or even in one drop of water.” - Dōgen
- [Newsletter](https://twilightjournal.com/newsletter/) - Stay updated with the latest from Twilight Journal. Sign up for our newsletter and receive thoughtful reflections and life lessons directly in your inbox.
- [Contact](https://twilightjournal.com/contact/) - Want to connect? Use our contact page to reach Twilight Journal with any questions & comments. Share your thoughts, feedback & inquire about reflective journey.

## My Templates

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- [Elementor Archive #154](https://twilightjournal.com/?elementor_library=elementor-archive-154) - All Posts Introduction: Announcement An announcement. Read More Winter Journal: Light The valley teaches in light. Each season arrives with its own voice—spring’s honey-gold promise, summer’s restless shimmer, autumn’s amber hush, winter’s quiet charcoal. From my stillness, I see it all more clearly now. Every leaf. Every shadow. Every tender change. This reflection is about
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## Categories

- [Uncategorized](https://twilightjournal.com/category/uncategorized/)
- [Introduction](https://twilightjournal.com/category/intro/) - Sets background and context for the meditation journal
- [Journal](https://twilightjournal.com/category/uncategorized/journal/) - Journal of the natural year in the light of mortality.
- [Winter](https://twilightjournal.com/category/uncategorized/journal/winter/) - Journal entries from winter
- [Spring](https://twilightjournal.com/category/uncategorized/journal/spring/) - Journal entries from Spring
- [Summer](https://twilightjournal.com/category/uncategorized/journal/summer/) - Journal entries from Summer.
- [Autumn](https://twilightjournal.com/category/uncategorized/journal/fall/) - Journal entries from Autumn.
- [Afterwards](https://twilightjournal.com/category/after/) - Posts made after the publication of the journal

## Tags

- [#Mindfulness](https://twilightjournal.com/tag/mindfulness/)
- [#NatureWriting](https://twilightjournal.com/tag/naturewriting/)
- [#ReflectionsOnLife](https://twilightjournal.com/tag/reflectionsonlife/)
- [#MeditationsOnMortality](https://twilightjournal.com/tag/meditationsonmortality/)
- [#LivingWithALS](https://twilightjournal.com/tag/livingwithals/)
- [#EnvironmentalAwareness](https://twilightjournal.com/tag/environmentalawareness/)
- [#GratitudePractice](https://twilightjournal.com/tag/gratitudepractice/)
- [#LifeLessons](https://twilightjournal.com/tag/lifelessons/)
- [#MindfulLiving](https://twilightjournal.com/tag/mindfulliving/)
- [#MemoirOfIllness](https://twilightjournal.com/tag/memoirofillness/)
- [#PhilosophyOfLife](https://twilightjournal.com/tag/philosophyoflife/)
- [#SeasonalChange](https://twilightjournal.com/tag/seasonalchange/)
- [#SpiritualAwakening](https://twilightjournal.com/tag/spiritualawakening/)
- [#MindfulnessInNature](https://twilightjournal.com/tag/mindfulnessinnature/)
- [#FindingPeace](https://twilightjournal.com/tag/findingpeace/)
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- [#AppreciatingLife](https://twilightjournal.com/tag/appreciatinglife/)
- [#ALSJourney](https://twilightjournal.com/tag/alsjourney/)
- [#SolitudeAndReflection](https://twilightjournal.com/tag/solitudeandreflection/)
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- [ndfulness](https://twilightjournal.com/tag/ndfulness/)
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- [#twilightjournal](https://twilightjournal.com/tag/twilightjournal/)
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- [#oneness](https://twilightjournal.com/tag/oneness/)
- [#luminouslife](https://twilightjournal.com/tag/luminouslife/)
- [#remembertolive](https://twilightjournal.com/tag/remembertolive/)
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- [#carpediem](https://twilightjournal.com/tag/carpediem/)